work-life balance Archives

Work-Life Balance: Get in the Driver's Seat

By Kristi Daniels
Work-Life Balance Examiner

Gaining greater balance between your work life and your personal life isn't just going to happen to you. You need to get in the driver's seat and take control.

Do you blame your boss or colleagues on the night's you need to stay late at the office? Or do you blame an inefficient work environment where there are too many meetings, too many distractions and not enough productivity to get the job done during office hours?

Stop.

Quit blaming others or the situations that are "happening" to you. When you engage in victim thinking, you are giving your power away. You're also not engaging in activity that will help you improve or solve the situation.

In his book The Success Principles, Jack Canfield offers two critical rules to help you move out of victim-hood and into the driver's seat.

•    Take 100% responsibility for your life. You, and only you, are responsible for your actions and the events and situations in your life.

•    E + R = O. An event plus your response to that event yields an outcome. Like any equation, if you want to change the answer you're getting, you need to change one of the factors. If you don't like an outcome you're getting in your life, you may not be able to change the event itself. But you can change your response to it.

It's also important to draw a distinction between reacting to the event vs. responding the event. Knee-jerk reactions come from a place of fear or uncertainty. When you react you are not aligned with your values and succumb to whatever emotion arises. Reaction is also a motivation from the past, something that you've experienced before. You respond to an event based on your values, your truth. A response is well thought-out because it is knowledge you already have; you know what is important to you.

How can you apply these principles in your life to achieve greater work-life balance? Where in your life are you acting like a victim? How can you reverse your thinking and get into the driver's seat?
 
 

Work-Life Balance: Take the time for loved ones.

By Kristi Daniels
Work-Life Balance Examiner

A key challenge for anyone trying to balance work and personal life is making - and taking - the time to spend with loved ones.

Whether you are single or married with children, each of us desires fulfilling relationships with the important people in our lives. And when you're working 10+ hour days, it's easy to fall into the work, work, work zone and completely neglect your personal relationships.

Learn to head off relationship killers such as apathy, a lack of passion and disconnectedness, by being fully engaged in your connections with others. Make the time, take the time and spend quality hours with your loved ones. Here are some suggestions to consider:

Schedule specific times of the day or week to spend with family and friends. Treat your date night, family night or friends' night out just as you would an office appointment. Set a start and finish time and don't be late! Get creative and put a little thought into your plans. Try doing something out of the ordinary - pick a new cuisine or a card game or a new activity.

Learn to leave work at the office. It's not so easy to compartmentalize our lives. When we've had a stressful day at the office, we bring it home. When we have a fight with our spouse, we bring it to work.

Instead of compartmentalizing, try a technique to release your thoughts, emotions and stress. The Sedona Method suggests asking yourself the following questions. Notice the instant "release."

"What emotions or thoughts am I feeling?" Accept that you are feeling them.
Ask yourself, "Could I let them go?"
"Would I let them go?"
"When?"
Repeat these four questions as often as needed, until you begin to feel the release.

Be fully present in all of your interactions with family and loved ones. Nothing says I'm not really paying attention to you like a blank stare or when you are multi-tasking or when your mind is back at the office. Take the time to be fully here for your loved ones. Take a deep breath and focus on the conversation. Be curious. Make the most out of your quality time together.

Ask for what you need.  Perhaps you need 10 minutes to vent to your spouse each day after work. Ask for a listening ear and keep your commitment to limit the talk to 10 minutes. Create rituals to help you leave the office with a clear mind and return home to your family in a good mood. Perhaps you need to ask your loved ones to greet you with a smile when you walk in the door. What do you need at the end of every day to transition from work mode to life mode? Identify your needs and ask for them.